Are You a Responsible Parent?

Most of us, as parents, will have a view on our partner's capability as a parent and how responsible they are in dealing with matters relating to our children's upbringing. In happy times, whilst there may be differences of opinion and approach, these rarely seem so important as to cause problems in the relationship and frequently remain happily unresolved. But what happens if the relationship breaks down? Do these "minor" differences in approach seem more important? If so, what does the law say about it?

Parental responsibility

The Children Act 1989 introduced the legal concept of "Parental Responsibility". This term was said to mean "all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent has in relation to the child". It effectively confers a status allowing a parent to have a say and be consulted in all aspects relating to a child's upbringing. Examples of issues which may arise are questions such as whether a child's surname can be changed, where they go to school, should they go to church and even can they be taken to live abroad. One can therefore see how important the concept is, because, without Parental Responsibility, even a parent has no such rights.

Who is "responsible"?

So who is responsible or, put more accurately, who has Parental Responsibility? Well all mothers and married fathers automatically have this status conferred upon them by law. In addition, all unmarried fathers of children born on or after 1 December 2003 will have Parental Responsibility conferred upon them if they are named as the father on the Birth Certificate at registration.

In those cases, whether the parents remain together or are apart, important decisions relating to their children's upbringing must be taken together. Legally speaking, if agreement cannot be reached, a court order must be obtained to resolve the dispute. Think of your own experiences and of your family and friends' experiences and ask yourself how often this happens?

And the others?

So what about the other parents not mentioned above. It is worth remembering that unmarried fathers will only automatically have Parental Responsibility if their children were born after 1 December 2003 and if they are named on the Birth Certificate. In practice, they can only be so named if mother consents because of the way the registration rules work. If the child was born before this date, Dad will simply not have Parental Responsibility. Additionally, step-parents will not have Parental Responsibility despite often having day to day responsibility for a child.

So what can be done?

It is possible for a father to acquire Parental Responsibility in three ways. The first (and arguably simplest) is by agreement with the mother. This cannot simply be verbal and there is a specific form and procedure required for this to take legal effect. As such, legal advice and/or a visit to the court may well be required.

The second is by becoming registered as the child's father subsequently. This sounds simple but, in practice, can be quite difficult and will certainly not be possible without mother's co-operation.

The third is by applying for a court order. Again, legal advice and a visit to the court are likely to be required but this may be more straightforward than would at first be thought.

As the result of a relatively recent change in the law, it is also possible for a step-parent to acquire Parental Responsibility. Again, this will either be by agreement or court order although in this case, the position may be more complex because there are potentially two other parents with Parental Responsibility who will need to agree or be consulted. In short, you can do something to acquire Parental Responsibility but you may well need expert help.

So to go back to the answers posed at the start of this article, my professional experience is, I am afraid, that differences in approach to bringing up children that perhaps seem minor in happy times (or were simply ignored) do assume much more importance once the couple separate. This makes it all the more vital to ensure that:

a) You do share Parental Responsibility for your children and...

b) You are proactive and constructive about exercising that responsibility both with the other parent and with all other third parties (such as teachers and doctors) who come into contact with your children.